At Gilliland's, Rosa Oliver presiding. The meeting was called to order at 9:08:06. The minutes were approved as read. The Treasury stood at $4,854.57, plus $242.10 in dues which had been paid just prior to the meeting. PAY YOUR DUES!
ENTERTAINMENT: Remember to bring things for the picnic. The 5th Friday will be at Jack Heneghan & Elaine Normandy's. The next meeting will be at Unicon.
DISCLAVE: We're still arguing over the bill. We need ideas for getting people to volunteer for future work.
D'UDDERCLAVE: Jul has abundant info on possible hotels.
The meeting was anonymously adjourned at 9:42:48.
The WSFA Journal is the strange publication of the Washington Science Fiction Association, Inc. Editor-in-Chief: Jane Wagner, 1000 6th St. SW #312, Wash., DC 20024. Associate Editor: Joe Mayhew.
At Unicon, Rosa Oliver presiding. The meeting was called to order at 9:07:22. The minutes were approved as read. The Treasury floated at $4,580.51. We haven't received any money from Disclave yet.
ENTERTAINMENT: Unicon, 5th Friday.
D'UDDERCLAVE: Still looking at hotels.
OLD BUSINESS: positively none.
NEW BUSINESS: A motion to elect George Scithers (who was present) a Life Member was seconded and passed after much discussion over what the constitution actually meant.
The meeting was dismembered at 9:34:09.
It's amazing how two small cons can be so radically different. What I saw of Unicon (to be fair, not much since I didn't join) was a nightmare. Since the con suite didn't serve beer, the WSFA/BSFS suite was a magnet for all the people who think the primary purpose of a con is to swill down as much free beer as possible, get stoned drunk, abuse their hosts' hospitality by being loud and obnoxious, and create/contribute to a large security problem (smoke bombs, etc.) Pat Kelly is right in his no-booze-at-Balticon policy - we don't need teenage drunks. This report means no reflection on the con itself - just the people who attended. (Well, at least some of them.)
Paracon, on the other hand, is a small gem of a con. Beer flowed through the con suite, but I saw no drunks and was aware of no security problems. Paracon draws nice, friendly fans - not people who shouldn't oe allowed out of their cells. The con committee wasn't even afraid to put signs up around town advertising the con! Joe Mayhew and I went on the spur of the moment Saturday, and it was the kind of relaxing, enjoyable con that I wish Unicon could be. I didn't manage to catch any of the programming, but there were some nice pieces in the art show. Unfortunately, the con committee needs to be more organized at and after the art auction - people should be able to pay for and pick up artwork immediately after the auction, and should not have to wait until the staff is ready. A few arguments (what con doesn't have them), but overall a delight. --Jane Wagner
Donna Gause, [censored], Thomasville, PA 17364
Nancy Handwork, Phone # (703) 385-9233
Gene Olmsted, Box 11472, Baltimore, MD 21239
Buz Owen, [censored], Arlington, VA 02174 [sic]
John Pomeranz, 4518 N. 40th St., Arlington, VA 22207 (703) 538-6024
Jeff Schaller, [censored], Astoria, NY 11103 (212) 626-2685
George Scithers, Box 8243, Philadelphia, PA 19101
Ida Simmons, [censored], Springfield, VA 22152
Vicki Smith, 3185 Casto Dr., Apt. #200, Fairfax, VA 22031 (703) 273-2116
Erwin S. Strauss (Filthy Pierre), 9850 Fairfax Sq., 232, Fairfax, VA 22031 (703) 273-6111
Martin Morse Wooster, P.O. Box 8093, Silver Spring, MD 20907 (301) 587-2269
The prestigious Hogu Awards were created by Tom Digby, inspired by a Plergbian Typo occurring on a Hugo Ballot. Ten years ago, at LACon, Mike Glyer, Elst Weinstein and half a dozen other putrid fans held the first Hogu Awards Ranquet at a local McDonalds. This instant tradition was popularized in the fan media and by 1974 was outdrawing the regular banquets. To save this not so cheep alternative, the Ranqueteers started holding their events out of the Banquet scheduling. Fans, who know true entertainment value, were by this time showing a fine preference for exotic "juque-food" cuisine. We researched through thousands of dusty-old fanzines to discover that the award was named after Hogu Chabsnerg, the founder of modern Sinus Friction, (never call it "Si-Fri"!) He published such early hoaxzines as: Amusing, ANALFOG, and Thrilling Chunder Stories. But with the advent of the younger editors, he has been forced to retire at an old hoax home near Sonova Beach, Calif. There he has been for ten years, writing endless parodies of DUNE. A recent movement to have a postal stamp dedicated to him has been started, but major emphasis will be given only when the postage rates are the same as the price of his magazines (50¢ an issue.) This was a condition of his pre-mortem will, read last fall.
As this is the tenth anniversary (11th awarding) of the Hogus, we on the commission have made certain changes. 1.We added the DEVO award, suggested by one fan, in order to honor the one who has done the most to HARM SF. 2.Fandom's Biggest Turkey Classification has been changed to reflect the prolonged standings of a certain Mid-west state. 3.A Pole Tax has been added, so if you are either part or fully Polish you will need to send in some extra money, unless of course you don't want to. 4.There is no 4. 5.See previous comment. 6.Ballots cost us money, please help out!
The Ranquet has been held at Worldcons, Nasfics, Westercons, other places or not at all. For only $15 US you can reserve a place at this years' event through the miracle of computer reservation placement. Not sending money will subject you to the risks of at the door seating.
VOTING PROCEDURE: You are encouraged to vote as often as you want. The Hogus and Blackholes are peer group awards: if you don't feel qualified to vote, just peer over another's shoulder and copy what he wrote. Ballot stuffing is mandatory, so stuff it! If you want, please feel free to reproduce and distribute the ballot (but please clean up afterwards!) Just be sure to include ALL typos, or eles. Voting is by the AUSTRIAN BALLOT SYSTEM: Vote often and secretly, but we decide the results in an independent closed caucus so as not to be unduly influenced by the actual vote.
THE AWARD: The Hogu consists of a charred block of virgin pinewood, a fine romantic symbolization of a rocket take off.
HOGU RESULTS: Available for 50¢ with File 770, contact Mike Glyer.
VOTING DEADLINE: Send all ballots to HOGU COMMISSION c/o Elst Weinstein 12809 Neon Way Granada Hills,CA 91344 by August 20, 1982. Money always accepted. APA-H, the apa for hoaxes and humor sponsors the Hogus and Blackhole awards.
Vote for one in each category, rank in odor of preference...
WORST FANZINE TITLE:
___Uncle Dick's Little Thing ___Private Heat
___Intermediate Vector Bosuns ___Dillinger's Relic ___Enemaster
THE DeROACH AWARD: given for putridity in everyday life. Inspired by Edward DeLoach, LA City worker who held his testimonial dinner at McDonald's.
___Tom Snyder ___Phil Foglio ___Ann Landers Greatest
___John Houseman's Sellout ___Rona Barrett ___Reaganomics Part II
THE ARISTOTLE AWARD: Commemorating the Geek Tycoon, Aristotle O.Nessus, the elusive founder of putridity, coiner of the phrase: "Ook,ook,slobber drool!" This is for Grand Master Lifetime Achievement in Putridity.
___George Steinbrunner ___US Postal Disservice ___Max
___Knoxville World's Fair ___Pacman Fever ___Noah Ward
BEST NEW FEUD: Starting 1981 or later to qualify this year.
___Argentina vs. Britain ___Chicon IV vs. The World
___WSFA vs. BSFS
___Atlanta in '86 vs. Atlanta in '86 ___Haig vs. Kirkpatrick
BEST TRAUMATIC PRESENTATION:
___Modern Egyptian Election Methods ___Air Florida's 14th
___Polish Law & Order ___The Klaus Trial ___The End of the Space Age
___Central American Domino Theory ___Argentina's Fleecing the Falklands
FANDOM'S BIGGEST TURKEY:
Class One, Professional
___John Thiel ___Bill Bridget ___Purdue Univ. Sociol. Dept. ___C.Deglar
Class Two, Amateur
___Bill Bridget ___David Klaus ___HJN Andruschak ___Larry Propp
BEST HOAX AWARDS: Besides the Hogus, of course!
___Gandalfs ___Balrogs ___Fanzine Hugos ___Rent Gouger of the Year
___Mini-micro-elite ___Uptight Neon ___Open &
Trusting ___Cheryl Tiegs
___Velveeta smooth ___Italic Dyslexic ___Illuminatus Illuminated
BEST RELIGIOUS HOAX (The Flavor-Aid Award)
___D&D as Devil Worship ___Scientific Creationism
___Billy Graham & Russian Religious Freedom ___Tomb of the Unborn Baby
___Bob Dylan ___Church of the Subgenius ___Falwell & Moral Majority
BEST PROFESSIONAL HOAX (Hoaxing as a Profession)
___Carl Sagan ___1981 Budget ___SFWA ___People
Mag. Parody ___IRAs
___Eliot Janeway, Economist. ___Silver Bob ___Noah Ward Enterprises, Inc.
BEST FAN HOAX:
___Suzi Pavlac ___Jimmy Bluebird ___SCA ___The New Punk Rune
BEST HOAX CONVENTION:
___Genericon #n ___Columbus in '85 ___Wrathacon
___Any Foolcon ___Chattanooga for NASFiC ___Inconjunction
BEST DEAD WRITER: (Must be living to qualify)
___Lin Carter ___Glen Larson ___Barry Malzberg
___Barbara Cartland ___John Norman Mailer ___Noah Ward
___Gordon Femtosecond ___Lewis Grizzard ___Nalrah Nosille
___Jessica Salmonson (best pseudohym) ___Karl Malden (he left home without it)
SPECIAL BAGELBASH AWARD:
___Nuclear Freeze Ice Cream ___Purina Geek Chow ___Rely
___Facehugger Jeans ___Melted Rubik's Cube on a shingle ___Govt. Cheese
BEST HAS-BEEN: (Deposed Dictator's Award)
___Alexander Haig ___Tim Kyger ___Idi Amin ___Gen.Duarte ___Bani-Sadr
FREE FOR ALL: ___"Disco Still Sucks"
___"Missouri Loves Company" ___"Skiers Go Down
___"Nuke the Reds Back to the Stone Age" ___"Kill a Preppy for Christ"
___The Argentine Communist, "Gaucho Marx"
MOST DESIRED GAFIATION: Winner gets Mid-Atlantic Fan Fund (MAFF)
___David Klaus ___Bill Bridget ___John Thiel ___Filthy Pierre
SPECIAL HOG BUTCHER TO THE WORLDCON AWARD:
___The Rathole ___Chicago Transit Authority
___Exorbitant parking Fees
___Mrs. Aardvark's Traveling Revival and Tent Show
SPECIAL DEVO AWARD: To who has done the most Harm to Science Fiction
___John Norman ___Lin Carter ___John Cleve ___andy offutt
MOST PUTRID SCENE PROM STAR WARS III:
___Leia "Use the force, Luke. Oh, oh, oh!!"
___"Chewie, I never knew..."
___Lando being asked to sit at the back of the spaceship.
___Exorcism of Obi-Wan's Ghost ___Bo Derek as the Dark Side of the Force
TIME OUTS FROM TIME BANDITS:
___"Can I steal a moment of your time?" ___"Hey
Kenny, stand up!"
___"How does he get back?""Repeat, 'There's no place like home...'"
___Excedrin Headache#469 "I feel like I'm carrying a whole ship on my head!"
WORST PUN BASED ON RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK:
___"I'm past Karen." ___"Tanis, anyone?"
___"I hate frogs. Why does the Floor move?"
___Raiders on Golden Pond: "Suckface! Why did it have to be Suckface?"
___Raiders of Las Vegas: "Snake-eyes! Why did it have to be Snake-eyes?"
___Conehead the Barbarian ___Star Trek III Wrath of Conehead
___Superman III: Krypto dissolving a fire hydrant
___Playmate centerfold with Ward's Catalogue
CLOSEST ENCOUNTER OF THE FOURTH KIND:
___Flamingo Road ___5 year old rape victim being called promiscuous.
___Love scenes from Quest for Fire ___Michael Caine & Christopher Reeve
___Gov. Moonbeam and the Medflies from Outer Space. ___G. Gordon Liddy & Timothy Leary
The Blackhole Award, first given in 1973 by Matthew Tepper was revived in 1979 to give all fans a chance to make nominations and vote. The distinctive award and its original purpose are lost in obscurity, but the feelings it once engendered live on. The Award: Consists of plastic spheres subtly different depending on the award. The Standard one is a black sphere.
STANDARD BLACKHOLE: Vote for four of the following (here only!)
___Ronald Reagan ___Rosie Ruiz' Real Estate School
___Chicon IV Con Com
___Filthy Pierre ___Dr. Joyce Brothers ___Don Markstein ___James Watt
___Cliff Biggers ___Robert Adams ___Robert Young ___Phyllis Schaffly
___Fritz Mondale ___E. Gary Gygax ___George Plimpton ___Dr. Z.
INVISIBILITY AWARD: For Conspicuous Absence
___Fred Silverman ___Billy Carter ___George Bush
___Galaxy & Galileo ___Worldcon Financial Reports ___Richard M. Nixon
___EPA ___Scandinavia Fandom ___Air Traffic Controllers ___Richard Allen
INCOMPETENCE AWARD: Political Refuse Award
___Sen. Proxmire ___D. Stockman ___Pres. Reagan
___Sen. Eagleton ___Rep. Tip O'Neill ___Jesse Helms ___Sen. Teddy
___James Watt ___Mayor Jane Byrne ___Alexander Haig ___Your Senator.
___Elvis Comic Book publishers ___Leisure Books
___TSR Buying out Amazing and putting in Scithers as Editor of it.
___$3.50 paperbacks & "trade editions" ___OPEC
___Ma Bell ___NFL Player
___Mexican Superstar Rookie Pitchers for World Champion Baseball Teams
HALF-ASSED CON OFFICIOUSNESS:
___Turkeys ___Kumquats ___Balticons ___Lunacons
BROWN HOLE AWARD FOR OUTSTANDING PROFESSIONALISM: Past winners have included Norman Spinrad, Roger Elwood, and Alexander Haig.
___D. Stockman ___J. Watt ___Lynn Redgrave
___David Gerrold ___Congress
___L. Ron Hubbard ___Lee Iacocca ___Harlan Ellison
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
White space provided below so that you may nominate or suggest persons or categories that did not make it this year. If they are funny they may be used. If not, we just ignore them. Have Fun. NOTE: Fanzine editors are encouraged to duplicate and distribute this in fanzines. PLEASE!!!