The WSFA Journal


August, 1982                             Vol. 6, No. 3




At Gilliland's, Rosa Oliver presiding. The meeting was called to order at 9:08:06. The minutes were approved as read. The Treasury stood at $4,854.57, plus $242.10 in dues which had been paid just prior to the meeting. PAY YOUR DUES!


ENTERTAINMENT: Remember to bring things for the picnic. The 5th Friday will be at Jack Heneghan & Elaine Normandy's. The next meeting will be at Unicon.

DISCLAVE: We're still arguing over the bill. We need ideas for getting people to volunteer for future work.

D'UDDERCLAVE: Jul has abundant info on possible hotels.


  1. Jack has a grill if you want to come early to 5th Friday & bring your supper.
  2. A motion to take a suite for Friday night at Unicon for an open party was seconded and passed.


  1. A motion to elect the Disclave '84 chair now, since the American Booksellers will be in town that weekend, was seconded and passed. Jane Wagner and Kent Bloom were nominated; Jane Wagner was elected. (Editor's note: all right, you all just volunteered to work!)
  2. A motion for a movie party the weekend of July 23 was defeated.
  3. The question of advance money for D'Udderclave was raised; it was decided that we didn't need it just yet.


  1. John Novak sent an item about the SLUGS (St. Louis Underground Gourmet Society). (No food is naturally blue.)
  2. Jack Chalker has a new book out - The Identity Matrix was written in 1977.
  3. Doctor Who is again showing on Channel 26 at 6 PM (Hooray!).
  4. Martin Morse Wooster reports that according to Ted White, Martin is the most wrongheaded fan of all time.
  5. Rosa's birthday is next Monday - she's 21 years "and some months."
  6. Mr. Moose reports that Melbourne has begun "Massage for Melbourne." (Down Under?)
  7. L5 is urging everyone to call or write the White House urging a U.S. or international space station.
  8. Today was Barry and Judy Newton's 9th wedding anniversary.

The meeting was anonymously adjourned at 9:42:48.


The WSFA Journal is the strange publication of the Washington Science Fiction Association, Inc. Editor-in-Chief: Jane Wagner, 1000 6th St. SW #312, Wash., DC 20024. Associate Editor: Joe Mayhew.



At Unicon, Rosa Oliver presiding. The meeting was called to order at 9:07:22. The minutes were approved as read. The Treasury floated at $4,580.51. We haven't received any money from Disclave yet.


ENTERTAINMENT: Unicon, 5th Friday.

D'UDDERCLAVE: Still looking at hotels.

OLD BUSINESS: positively none.

NEW BUSINESS: A motion to elect George Scithers (who was present) a Life Member was seconded and passed after much discussion over what the constitution actually meant.


  1. George Scithers says Thank You.
  2. Lee has a story from a friend in California who wants comments.
  3. Today was Steve Stiles and Scott Dennis' birthday. (No, they're not twins.)
  4. Ray Ridenour says thanks for letting him join.
  5. Flahsh is out of the hospital now.
  6. There is a corporation and ConCom meeting for ConStellation on August 8 (2 PM at the BSFS clubhouse).

The meeting was dismembered at 9:34:09.


It's amazing how two small cons can be so radically different. What I saw of Unicon (to be fair, not much since I didn't join) was a nightmare. Since the con suite didn't serve beer, the WSFA/BSFS suite was a magnet for all the people who think the primary purpose of a con is to swill down as much free beer as possible, get stoned drunk, abuse their hosts' hospitality by being loud and obnoxious, and create/contribute to a large security problem (smoke bombs, etc.) Pat Kelly is right in his no-booze-at-Balticon policy - we don't need teenage drunks. This report means no reflection on the con itself - just the people who attended. (Well, at least some of them.)

Paracon, on the other hand, is a small gem of a con. Beer flowed through the con suite, but I saw no drunks and was aware of no security problems. Paracon draws nice, friendly fans - not people who shouldn't oe allowed out of their cells. The con committee wasn't even afraid to put signs up around town advertising the con! Joe Mayhew and I went on the spur of the moment Saturday, and it was the kind of relaxing, enjoyable con that I wish Unicon could be. I didn't manage to catch any of the programming, but there were some nice pieces in the art show. Unfortunately, the con committee needs to be more organized at and after the art auction - people should be able to pay for and pick up artwork immediately after the auction, and should not have to wait until the staff is ready. A few arguments (what con doesn't have them), but overall a delight.         --Jane Wagner


Donna Gause, [censored], Thomasville, PA 17364
Nancy Handwork, Phone # (703) 385-9233
Gene Olmsted, Box 11472, Baltimore, MD 21239
Buz Owen, [censored], Arlington, VA 02174 [sic]
John Pomeranz, 4518 N. 40th St., Arlington, VA 22207 (703) 538-6024
Jeff Schaller, [censored], Astoria, NY 11103 (212) 626-2685
George Scithers, Box 8243, Philadelphia, PA 19101
Ida Simmons, [censored], Springfield, VA 22152
Vicki Smith, 3185 Casto Dr., Apt. #200, Fairfax, VA 22031 (703) 273-2116
Erwin S. Strauss (Filthy Pierre), 9850 Fairfax Sq., 232, Fairfax, VA 22031 (703) 273-6111
Martin Morse Wooster, P.O. Box 8093, Silver Spring, MD 20907 (301) 587-2269


the HOGU

The prestigious Hogu Awards were created by Tom Digby, inspired by a Plergbian Typo occurring on a Hugo Ballot. Ten years ago, at LACon, Mike Glyer, Elst Weinstein and half a dozen other putrid fans held the first Hogu Awards Ranquet at a local McDonalds. This instant tradition was popularized in the fan media and by 1974 was outdrawing the regular banquets. To save this not so cheep alternative, the Ranqueteers started holding their events out of the Banquet scheduling. Fans, who know true entertainment value, were by this time showing a fine preference for exotic "juque-food" cuisine. We researched through thousands of dusty-old fanzines to discover that the award was named after Hogu Chabsnerg, the founder of modern Sinus Friction, (never call it "Si-Fri"!) He published such early hoaxzines as: Amusing, ANALFOG, and Thrilling Chunder Stories. But with the advent of the younger editors, he has been forced to retire at an old hoax home near Sonova Beach, Calif. There he has been for ten years, writing endless parodies of DUNE. A recent movement to have a postal stamp dedicated to him has been started, but major emphasis will be given only when the postage rates are the same as the price of his magazines (50¢ an issue.) This was a condition of his pre-mortem will, read last fall.

As this is the tenth anniversary (11th awarding) of the Hogus, we on the commission have made certain changes. 1.We added the DEVO award, suggested by one fan, in order to honor the one who has done the most to HARM SF. 2.Fandom's Biggest Turkey Classification has been changed to reflect the prolonged standings of a certain Mid-west state. 3.A Pole Tax has been added, so if you are either part or fully Polish you will need to send in some extra money, unless of course you don't want to. 4.There is no 4. 5.See previous comment. 6.Ballots cost us money, please help out!

The Ranquet has been held at Worldcons, Nasfics, Westercons, other places or not at all. For only $15 US you can reserve a place at this years' event through the miracle of computer reservation placement. Not sending money will subject you to the risks of at the door seating.

VOTING PROCEDURE: You are encouraged to vote as often as you want. The Hogus and Blackholes are peer group awards: if you don't feel qualified to vote, just peer over another's shoulder and copy what he wrote. Ballot stuffing is mandatory, so stuff it! If you want, please feel free to reproduce and distribute the ballot (but please clean up afterwards!) Just be sure to include ALL typos, or eles. Voting is by the AUSTRIAN BALLOT SYSTEM: Vote often and secretly, but we decide the results in an independent closed caucus so as not to be unduly influenced by the actual vote.

THE AWARD: The Hogu consists of a charred block of virgin pinewood, a fine romantic symbolization of a rocket take off.

HOGU RESULTS: Available for 50¢ with File 770, contact Mike Glyer.

VOTING DEADLINE: Send all ballots to HOGU COMMISSION c/o Elst Weinstein 12809 Neon Way Granada Hills,CA 91344 by August 20, 1982. Money always accepted. APA-H, the apa for hoaxes and humor sponsors the Hogus and Blackhole awards.

Vote for one in each category, rank in odor of preference...


___Uncle Dick's Little Thing   ___Private Heat   ___Intergalactic Starbarn
___Intermediate Vector Bosuns   ___Dillinger's Relic   ___Enemaster

THE DeROACH AWARD: given for putridity in everyday life. Inspired by Edward DeLoach, LA City worker who held his testimonial dinner at McDonald's.

___Tom Snyder   ___Phil Foglio   ___Ann Landers Greatest Hits(Vol.l&2)
___John Houseman's Sellout   ___Rona Barrett   ___Reaganomics Part II

THE ARISTOTLE AWARD: Commemorating the Geek Tycoon, Aristotle O.Nessus, the elusive founder of putridity, coiner of the phrase: "Ook,ook,slobber drool!" This is for Grand Master Lifetime Achievement in Putridity.

___George Steinbrunner   ___US Postal Disservice   ___Max Rafferty
___Knoxville World's Fair   ___Pacman Fever   ___Noah Ward

BEST NEW FEUD: Starting 1981 or later to qualify this year.

___Argentina vs. Britain   ___Chicon IV vs. The World   ___WSFA vs. BSFS
___Atlanta in '86 vs. Atlanta in '86   ___Haig vs. Kirkpatrick


___Modern Egyptian Election Methods   ___Air Florida's 14th St. Special
___Polish Law & Order   ___The Klaus Trial   ___The End of the Space Age
___Central American Domino Theory   ___Argentina's Fleecing the Falklands

Class One, Professional

___John Thiel   ___Bill Bridget   ___Purdue Univ. Sociol. Dept.   ___C.Deglar

Class Two, Amateur

___Bill Bridget   ___David Klaus   ___HJN Andruschak   ___Larry Propp

BEST HOAX AWARDS: Besides the Hogus, of course!

___Gandalfs   ___Balrogs   ___Fanzine Hugos   ___Rent Gouger of the Year


___Mini-micro-elite   ___Uptight Neon   ___Open & Trusting   ___Cheryl Tiegs
___Velveeta smooth   ___Italic Dyslexic   ___Illuminatus Illuminated

BEST RELIGIOUS HOAX (The Flavor-Aid Award)

___D&D as Devil Worship   ___Scientific Creationism   ___The Moonies
___Billy Graham & Russian Religious Freedom   ___Tomb of the Unborn Baby
___Bob Dylan   ___Church of the Subgenius   ___Falwell & Moral Majority

BEST PROFESSIONAL HOAX (Hoaxing as a Profession)

___Carl Sagan   ___1981 Budget   ___SFWA   ___People Mag. Parody   ___IRAs
___Eliot Janeway, Economist.   ___Silver Bob   ___Noah Ward Enterprises, Inc.


___Suzi Pavlac   ___Jimmy Bluebird   ___SCA   ___The New Punk Rune


___Genericon #n   ___Columbus in '85   ___Wrathacon   ___Concarnal
___Any Foolcon   ___Chattanooga for NASFiC   ___Inconjunction

BEST DEAD WRITER: (Must be living to qualify)

___Lin Carter   ___Glen Larson   ___Barry Malzberg   ___Roger Elwood
___Barbara Cartland   ___John Norman Mailer   ___Noah Ward


___Gordon Femtosecond   ___Lewis Grizzard   ___Nalrah Nosille
___Jessica Salmonson (best pseudohym)   ___Karl Malden (he left home without it)


___Nuclear Freeze Ice Cream   ___Purina Geek Chow   ___Rely Tampons
___Facehugger Jeans   ___Melted Rubik's Cube on a shingle   ___Govt. Cheese

BEST HAS-BEEN: (Deposed Dictator's Award)

___Alexander Haig   ___Tim Kyger   ___Idi Amin   ___Gen.Duarte   ___Bani-Sadr

FREE FOR ALL: ___"Disco Still Sucks"  

___"Missouri Loves Company"   ___"Skiers Go Down Faster"
___"Nuke the Reds Back to the Stone Age"   ___"Kill a Preppy for Christ"
___The Argentine Communist, "Gaucho Marx"

MOST DESIRED GAFIATION: Winner gets Mid-Atlantic Fan Fund (MAFF)

___David Klaus   ___Bill Bridget   ___John Thiel   ___Filthy Pierre


___The Rathole   ___Chicago Transit Authority   ___Exorbitant parking Fees
___Mrs. Aardvark's Traveling Revival and Tent Show

SPECIAL DEVO AWARD: To who has done the most Harm to Science Fiction

___John Norman   ___Lin Carter   ___John Cleve   ___andy offutt


___Leia "Use the force, Luke. Oh, oh, oh!!"   ___"Chewie, I never knew..."
___Lando being asked to sit at the back of the spaceship.
___Exorcism of Obi-Wan's Ghost   ___Bo Derek as the Dark Side of the Force


___"Can I steal a moment of your time?"   ___"Hey Kenny, stand up!"
___"How does he get back?""Repeat, 'There's no place like home...'"
___Excedrin Headache#469 "I feel like I'm carrying a whole ship on my head!"


___"I'm past Karen."   ___"Tanis, anyone?"   ___"I hate frogs. Why does the Floor move?"
___Raiders on Golden Pond: "Suckface! Why did it have to be Suckface?"
___Raiders of Las Vegas: "Snake-eyes! Why did it have to be Snake-eyes?"


___Conehead the Barbarian   ___Star Trek III Wrath of Conehead
___Superman III: Krypto dissolving a fire hydrant
___Playmate centerfold with Ward's Catalogue


___Flamingo Road   ___5 year old rape victim being called promiscuous.
___Love scenes from Quest for Fire   ___Michael Caine & Christopher Reeve
___Gov. Moonbeam and the Medflies from Outer Space.   ___G. Gordon Liddy & Timothy Leary


The Blackhole Award, first given in 1973 by Matthew Tepper was revived in 1979 to give all fans a chance to make nominations and vote. The distinctive award and its original purpose are lost in obscurity, but the feelings it once engendered live on. The Award: Consists of plastic spheres subtly different depending on the award. The Standard one is a black sphere.

STANDARD BLACKHOLE: Vote for four of the following (here only!)

___Ronald Reagan   ___Rosie Ruiz' Real Estate School   ___Chicon IV Con Com
___Filthy Pierre   ___Dr. Joyce Brothers   ___Don Markstein   ___James Watt
___Cliff Biggers   ___Robert Adams   ___Robert Young   ___Phyllis Schaffly
___Fritz Mondale   ___E. Gary Gygax   ___George Plimpton   ___Dr. Z.

INVISIBILITY AWARD: For Conspicuous Absence

___Fred Silverman   ___Billy Carter   ___George Bush   ___Lech Walesa
___Galaxy & Galileo   ___Worldcon Financial Reports   ___Richard M. Nixon
___EPA   ___Scandinavia Fandom   ___Air Traffic Controllers   ___Richard Allen

INCOMPETENCE AWARD: Political Refuse Award

___Sen. Proxmire   ___D. Stockman   ___Pres. Reagan   ___Sen. Hayakawa
___Sen. Eagleton   ___Rep. Tip O'Neill   ___Jesse Helms   ___Sen. Teddy
___James Watt   ___Mayor Jane Byrne   ___Alexander Haig   ___Your Senator.


___Elvis Comic Book publishers   ___Leisure Books   ___Starblaze Editions
___TSR Buying out Amazing and putting in Scithers as Editor of it.


___$3.50 paperbacks & "trade editions"   ___OPEC   ___Ma Bell   ___NFL Player
___Mexican Superstar Rookie Pitchers for World Champion Baseball Teams


___Turkeys   ___Kumquats   ___Balticons   ___Lunacons   ___Chicons

BROWN HOLE AWARD FOR OUTSTANDING PROFESSIONALISM: Past winners have included Norman Spinrad, Roger Elwood, and Alexander Haig.

___D. Stockman   ___J. Watt   ___Lynn Redgrave   ___David Gerrold   ___Congress
___L. Ron Hubbard   ___Lee Iacocca   ___Harlan Ellison

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

White space provided below so that you may nominate or suggest persons or categories that did not make it this year. If they are funny they may be used. If not, we just ignore them. Have Fun. NOTE: Fanzine editors are encouraged to duplicate and distribute this in fanzines. PLEASE!!!