The WSFA Journal, January 1994

The WSFA Journal



January 1994

ISSN 0894-5411

"To Err is Human; to Forgive, Divine"


Chuck Divine Pays His Dues ................................ Page 2
WSFAns Celebrate Birthdays ................................ Page 4


Gettysburg........................................... Page 6


The Twelve Days, Deconstructed ............................ Page 7


We Want Your Gaming Material .............................. Page 8


Again and Again and Again


Perianne Perriane Lurie Is Soliciting Again

The regular First Friday in December meeting of the Wassail Science Fiction Association convened at 9:26 on the 3rd day of "whatever month this is" in the spacious Command Deck of Stately Ginter Manor. "Let's have a meeting!" bellowed President Steve Smith. "We will also see how long my voice lasts."

Secretary Lee Strong introduced the combined November/December 1993 issue of The WSFA Journal. The club still wouldn't let him read it.

Robert "Guy" MacIntosh reported $2984.38 on hand. There were calls for a party and a yard sale, but these proposals failed for lack of seconds. "Sick puppy!" sneered Guy.

Steve asked for Committee Reports, starting with Disclave Present. Chairfan John Peacock said, "Hi! Steven Vincent Johnson will be the Artist Guest Of Honor (AGOH)." The guy we've been dealing with left the hotel. Hopefully, this is not a problem. We have a signed contract. The $20 room rates expire with 1993." Steve directed, "The Treasurer will note who's been naughty and who's been nice."

Dan Hoey, Trustee and Chairfan of Disclave Future, announced that the election was a success (since he won). He is looking forward to the Inauguration.

Alexis Gilliland, Chairfan of the Entertainment Committee, bought a new car. The club Oh'd at the news. He is now undergoing "more stress than is good for me". Lee Gilliland harumphed, "Thanks a lot!" They have a picture.

Speaking of pictures, Addams Family Values was great.

The Trustees reported all's calm.

Old Business

There is no home yet for the Fifth Friday/New Year's Eve party. Steve noted that Chuck Divine was ignoring the situation. "Chuck has paid his dues." However, Chuck proved a glutton for punishment as he volunteered the Maryland Home for the Prematurely Tall for yet another Fifth Friday function. He noted that Joe and he have the day off. Somebody moved we accept Chuck's offer. Lee Gilliland moved a friendly amendment that we buy some New Year's champaign. The acceptance was unanimously adopted as amended. The Christmas tree will be up and there will be a blazing fire. Men's ties will be referred to the blazing fire.

New Business

¿The New Tradition? Not.

The New Tradition

No one was here for his or her first time. The members warmed up by saying "Hi, Steven" to Steven Chalker.

Eric, Dave, Mike and Graham were here for their second times. The club said, "Hi!" to each. Dave said, "Hi, WSFA!" right back. Mike said hello. No one was here for his or her third time.


Lee Swanson Uba Gilliland and Alexis Gilliland were pictured in Locus magazine. Lee decided to stop collecting names.

The Secretary announced that anyone who expects their announcement to appear as they expect it to can forget it.

Lee Strong strongly recommended the movie Gettysburg as being comparable to Star Wars.

Eric's job goes full time in January. Great benefits but he took a pay cut. A Super Crown bookstore has opened in Rockville. If you're making more than minimum wage, you're not working at Crown.

Robyn Rissell talked to Kathi Overton in La-la-Land. It's 72° out there. John will graduate in May. They may return to the D.C. area as John is looking at a possible area fellowship. The club chanted "Stale meat! Stale meat!"

John Peacock had a cautionary tale about the need for a rail gun in his car. A humanoid punched out his driver's side window with his bare fist. Lends a whole new meaning to the term "Beltsville".

George Shaner, M.Sci.!

SPAN broadcast the Hubble repair spacewalks on Montgomery County channel 59. The NASA Feed is the most boring show ever done. Babble, babble, babble.

Nicki Lynch asked what to buy for Christmas? Turns out Dick and she have some bags of books to sell....

Dr. Perrianne Lurie is looking for Balticon Green Room volunteers. If you spend enough time, you get a T-shirt. And bed sores. No, we took the bed out. Ohhh! Rug sores!

Perrianne is soliciting again.... The club Ohh'd.... for articles for the Disclave Program Book. Are there any roommates for cons? No. The Wheaton Library had a book sale. Watch for future sales.

Lee Gilliland announced that Chez Gilliland is receiving slightly sordid telephone calls. We have Caller I.D. and we will be getting back to you. Joe Mayhew suggested using the *69 capacity on the telephone.

Erica Van Dommelen related a story about receiving sordid phone calls shortly after a certain person suggested a sordid act to her. She hollered out to the other members of the household that the certain person was on the phone. The sordid caller was so embarrassed to be mistaken for the certain person that he hung up in shame. Lee Strong advised that witnessing for God was also effective in discouraging sordid callers.

Perianne Lurrie Perrianne Lurie announced that the Secretary was misspelling her name again. "Perrianne" has two r's in it. Rright.

Chuck Devine Divine noted that the Secretary misspelled his name with two e's in it. However, he was willing to forgive and forget since, "To err is human; to forgive Divine." Eenough alreeady!

There was a motion to adjourn. Steve said that all in favor of adjourning should make "some manner of a positive noise". The club unanimously made some manner of a positive noise.


Walsh and MacIntosh Molest Each Other


Still Childish, Tho

The regular Third Friday in December business meeting of the Washington Science Fiction Association (WSFA) convened at 9:25, 17 December 1993 in the Downstairs Conference Room of Chez Gilliland. "I think we're having a meeting here," opined President Steve Smith before he popped his top. Mike Walsh and Robert "Guy" MacIntosh molested each other. Lee Gilliland hollered, "Alexis!" All in all, another typical WSFA meeting.

Secretary Lee Strong didn't have any minutes again so we waived them. <If only we could waive the Secretary.>

Treasurer Guy MacIntosh reported $2871.70 in the Treasury. There were calls for a disclave, an orgy and a party. All of these motions failed for lack of seconds. {It's hard to have an orgy with only one attendee.}

Moving on to Committee Reports, Disclave Present was not present. Guy announced that the cheap fare for Disclave 1994 was rapidly running out. {It's dead, Jim.}

Dan Hoey, Chairfan of Disclave Future, reported making a list, checking it twice, trying to find out who's available.... The club chortled at Dan's holiday spirit. Erica Van Dommelen reported herself "Glad I'm married." The club Oh'd this assessment.

Lee Gilliland, Vice Chairfan of the Entertainment Committee, reported "I'm in gold! It's great!" Also, "There's a tree somewhere in this house." After the meeting Mike and Guy will molest each other in the tree. Lee has to vacuum the darn needles. It's a Winter Solstice Tree this year.

Steve asked if there were any Committees That I'm Forgetting About? Fine Arts Chairfan Lance Oszko wished to remain forgotten. The Trustees reported, "If you're thinking of joining WSFA, you must join Disclave. There is no Sanity Claus. This meeting took less time to degenerate than normal." <True. But consider where we start from. It's a short drive.>

Old Business

Chuck Divine has maps to his place, where he will host the New Year's Eve Fifth Friday Party. He is going thru snow withdrawal. {Must have enjoyed the heck out of the week of Martin Luther King Day.}

New Business


The New Tradition

The Secretary tried to secretly whisper a clue to the President but Lee Gilliland caught him. I suppose this could be a Ninth New Tradition.

Sylvia was here for her first time. The club went, "Yay!" She asked if we were acting more normal than usual. Steve pronounced that "We're acting reasonably normal." <Speak for yourself.>

No one was here for her second time. Graham, Dave and Eric were each here for their third time. The members chorused "Hi, Graham!", "Hi, Dave!" and "Hi, Eric!" in sequence. Dave proved himself a true fan by saying, "Hi, WSFA!" right back.


The Secretary announced that anyone who would like their announcement to appear as they would like it... well, we're not that normal.

Lee Strong announced that John Ellis' second film, Invader, was on cable TV later tonight. Notice how we cleverly timed it so fans could attend WSFA and watch a movie made by WSFAns. It's a pretty good movie. John Pomeranz is in a crowd scene. Barry Newton asked, "Is this a nude scene?" Tom Schaad said, "Trust me; you

Steve announced that Evan Phillips is moving. His house is turning into a pumpkin. Martin Deutsch is taking the club soda machine to Columbia. Where is Evan going? No one knows. Joe Mayhew stated, "Actually, he's going to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to live with his brother. He loathed his job."

Eva Whitley announced Steven Chalker was on the front page of the Carroll County Times. Jack Chalker is 49 today. He has quit smoking. Major applause greeted this announcement. Jack announced, "I'm going to be a bad ex-smoker."

Tom announced that Fast Forward reviewed Christmas Forever, a real holiday treat of a book with all original short stories related to Christmas. Authors include Gilliland, Zelazny, McKittrip and Wolfe.

FF also reviewed The Iron Dragon's Daughter, copies of which were snapped up like rations in a starving city in Britain. Author Michael Swanwick is on tour. Joe, the former Library of Congress Recommending Officer for Science Fiction, stated it was better than Stations of the Tide.

Mike Walsh asked, "So what else is new?" He had books for sale, including hardbacks and Neveryona, described as "Conan for queers".

Mr. Lynch announced books for sale, $1 each, 6/$5. A Wealth of Fable is for sale for $20. This is Dick and Nicki's 20th anniversary.

Winton celebrated his 50th birthday the day after WSFA met.

Mrs. Lynch announced raffle tickets for a raffle quilt at the Quilting Guild. Joe asked if the event were sponsored by the National Raffle Association? Oh?

Jack Chalker announced David Chalker's birthday was Sunday. He's twelve. <And we're old.> Boo, hoo, hoo.

Lance Oszko went to Poland, pillaged, looted, and took pictures. He has books for sale and Jurassic rocks. He got a medal for being such a great pirate. <If he was all that great a pirate, he would have stolen a medal!>

There is a directory of gamers and gamers' associations in the D.C. area.

Dr. Lurie had 4 announcements. First, she is soliciting for the Balticon Green Room staff. Second, she is soliciting for articles for the Disclave Program Book. Third, she has 3 different Internet addresses. Fourth, she won a filk award for her double platinum single "And It Feels Like 500 Miles".

Kit Mason's father is marrying a bridesmaid from Kit's wedding. Her new step-mother-to-be is one of her childhood friends. Line marriages: yesterday's science fiction, today's reality.

The International Internet Association is offering free Internet accounts according to PC magazine.

Eva's brother and sister, Chuck and Bridget Whitley, are on something. My notes don't say exactly what. Better ask Eva.

Covert Beach requested that department heads communicate with Covert regarding the program flyer or else. 20 December will be his 30th birthday.

Lance announced a Balticon Worldcon Bid Committee meeting for 29 January 1994.

The meeting unanimously adjourned at 9:57.

The WSFA Journal is the official newsletter of the Washington Science Fiction Association (WSFA), Inc. All material is © 1994 WSFA, Inc., except as indicated.

Publisher .......... WSFA, Inc.
        (Steve Smith, President)
Editor-in-Chief .... Lee Strong
Treasurer ...
      ... Robert "Guy" MacIntosh


But is it really science fiction? Well, no, but a number of alternate histories jump off from alternate outcomes of this battle. This is a rare opportunity to see reference material brought vividly to life. And it's a darn good movie by itself.

I consider this splendid work to be the equal of Star Wars: A New Hope in terms of power and human involvement. It has just about everything that we could hope for in good literature: a strong theme, well paced plotting, well realized characters, good music, clever special effects, wonderful cinematography, you name it. I pay it the ultimate compliment by noting its 4½ hour length... and wishing it were longer so that I could enjoy it more! Particularly enjoyable was the accurate glimpse backward into another time, so critical in forming our nation today and yet so different from our own era. Keep one eye on Confederate general Lewis "Lo" Armistead as he reveals both the courage and sentimentality typical of many 19th Century men. Keep your other eye on Federal Colonel Joshua Chamberlain and realize the degree of personal honor that Americans expected of each other then. Both are fascinating portrayals of men we do not often see today... and are poorer for that fact.

This splendid film does have a few shortcomings, but generally minor ones. The principal one is pacing. Surely some of the political discussions could have been sacrificed to make this epic more accessible. But these are minor compared to the achievements of this struggle between two concepts of good. Those who make the commitment of time required will find their investment well rewarded.

I rate Gettysburg the highest possible, a Fantastic piece of literature. -- LS

Letters to the Editor

The 12 Days, Deconstructed

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my acquaintance-rape survivor gave to me,

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...),

TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic Incarceration,

(Note: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars, printed on recycled processed tree carcasses and a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Barb Taub Champaign, Ill.

(The author acknowledges inspiration from the Los Angeles Times booklet "Guidelines on Ethnic, Racial, Sexual and other Identification," and Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf's "The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook.")

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