A PUBLICATION OF THE WASHINGTON SCIENCE FICTION ASSOCIATION INC, WASHINGTON, DC
(22 Feb 94) Lee Gilliland today graduated from Miskatonic University with a 4.0 Grade Point Average. In the words of Academic Dean Wilbur Whateley, Lee was the first human being to earn a perfect score from MU without becoming insane. Lee did admit, "Haven't you noticed I'm not like other women?"
Ms. Gilliland took a dual major in Medieval Metaphysics and Home Economics. Her doctorial thesis, "Chili Recipes of Ancient R'lyeth" will be published later this year by the Miskatonic Press. One of these strange dishes, Jurassic Pork, was tested on human beings at a previous meeting of the Washington Science Fiction Association.
While attending the Miskatonic Correspondence School, Lee was elected President of the Student Bodies and The Homecoming Queen. She also planned and led the student field trip to Innsmouth, Massachusetts. Her favorite hobbies include dancing on thin ice, jumping the gun, flirting, and overacting. Her favorite quote is, "Life is not a spectator sport, but you can still make a spectacle of yourself!"
When she was 14 years old, Lee adopted a newborn baby boy, James Uba. The now teenaged James has not yet decided whether he wants to become a fan or a human being.
Lee called the offices of The WSFA Journal to announce "hitting the Big Four Oh" but left the details for us to work out. Sinister laughter echoed thru the room after she hung up.
* Former Vice Presidente Dan Quayle appeared in a television commercial for potatoe chips during the Supre Bowle footballe game. He donated his fee to charity.
* Current Vice President Albert Gor recently translated the motto of the United States, E Pluribus Unum, as "From One [nation], Many [cultures]." It actually means "From Many [states], One [nation]."
* Current President William J. Clinton was elected, in part, because of Dan Quayle's spelling of the word "potatoe." Recently, the Clinton White House extended invitations to an international conference to various European statesmen: British Chancellor of the Exchequer Kenneth Clark [actually Clarke]; German Labor Minister Norbert Bloehm [Bluem]; Italian Treasury Minister Pietro Barucci [actually Piero]; and European Economics Commissioner Henning Christopherson [actually Christophersen]. Invitations were also extended to French Economics and Labor Ministers _____ Alphandery and _____ Giraud. These mistakes caused an Italian to speak lightly of American competence.
* WSFAn Erica Van Dommelen recently identified a person working for Bioscience magazine as "the stupidest secretary in the world" since she thinks that Alaska and Africa are foreign countries. US Secretary of the Interior Bruce Babbitt recently confirmed part of this view, referring to the sovereign nations of Alaska, Canada and Mexico. No word yet on the nation of Africa.
'("The Vice Chairman" was the head of the government; there
had been no Chairman ... for thousands of years. [Fans] did not like
posh and they thought that Vice Chairman was high enough for any
one... to go. Besides, it kept the offworlders guessing.)'
by Cordwainer Smith
The regular First Friday in February business meeting convened at 9:18, 4 February 1994 in the Howdy Doody Clubhouse. Vice President Terilee Edwards-Hewitt presided in the absence of President Steve Smith. Terilee has presided twice in a row now, making this a fine old WSFA tradition.
Before the meeting, Terilee defended herself, saying, "It's not a real coup." Mike Walsh claimed, "This happens every so often: the Vice President actually gets to do something." Mike Zipser came to Terilee's rescue, getting her a coke. She was afraid to ask, fearing that someone would throw her one.
Terilee opened the meeting shouting, "All righty! Children! Hello!" Howdy Doody Time began at 9:18.
The Vice President completely ignored the Secretary. <More people should adopt this practice.>
Treasurer Robert "Guy" MacIntosh reported $2047.10 on hand. There were calls for an audit and a party. Someone suggested we save up for a party. These suggestions failed for lack of seconds.
Is Disclave Present present? No. How about Disclave Future?
Dr. Perrianne Lurie reported someone was on jury duty all week, protecting our right to a speedy trial.
There was a loose item left over from Disclave Past. The power screwdrivers are at Joe Mayhew's in case someone needs to screw around some.
Alexis Gilliland, Chairfan of the Entertainment Committee, has been entertained. The Gillilands bought a new dining room suite. The club Ohhed in awe. Alexis also took Lee to the foot doctor. Whatever turns you on.
Lance Oszko, Chairfan of the Fine Arts Committee, had no repartee.
Terilee asked if the Trustees had anything that's printable. In fact, do we have any Trustees? Sort of.
Moving right along....
We now have a Tenth New Tradition which is that the Vice President remembers the First New Tradition. However, no one remembered to come. Possibly an Eleventh Tradition.
John Peacock, Chairfan of Disclave Present (1994), reported an origami folding lesson upstairs after the brief meeting. Just folding tonight; no spindling or mutilating. The concom will meet this century.
The Secretary had the usual unusual announcement.
Terilee exercised the Vice President's Privilege to go second. She announced that the Order of St. Michael and several other fannish religious groups will hold an ecumenical service in honor of AIDS victims at Balticon late on Friday night.
Chuck Divine had a followup to a previous WSFA Journal announcement. He did enjoy the heck out of Martin Luther King Week since he was skiing in Aspen, CO. The temperature was in the 40s and the snow was perfect. He will be going to Vermont for more skiing in the near future. "Kill him now!" screamed Candy Gresham.
Lance did something to his arm. There will be another meeting of the Baltimore Worldcon bid committee. He has the new SF Amber logo. The Baltimore Convention Center has expanded. He has a map.
Somebody whose name the Secretary didn't catch is a cellist. During the Martin Luther King Day cold snap, he was in Honolulu on business. The club gave a sarcastic Ahhh! He worked 19 out of 17 days in Honolulu. He will miss Balticon due to being sent back to Honolulu. Another Ahhh! of sarcasm. However, he will import Kona Coffee for his friends. <Both of them?>
Brian Lewis moved. He is unemployed and going back to school. He hopes to graduate as a computer network engineer.
Perrianne had the usual announcements about the Balticon Green Room, articles for the Disclave Program Book, and Babylon Five. The latter will shortly show the episode that she saw being filmed. Terilee suggested "My Life as a Mall Rat" as an article.
Four men ripped off a large section of Rebecca Prather's roof.
Rachel Russell's brother and sister-in-law will have a baby.
Joe Mayhew will do science fiction book reviews for the March issue of Book World.
Nicki Lynch has raffle tickets from her quilt guild.
Chuck Weber's father is dying of cancer. Chuck is going out to visit for 1½ months. Send things via the Edwards-Hewitts.
Mike Walsh has books for sale. Ellison's Mephisto in Onyx is going for $5. Locus recommended The Rude Astronauts... by the author.
Tom Schaad thanked WSFA for sponsoring Fast Forward. The club
previously voted money towards the show. The show credits now mention,
"Made possible by a grant from the WSFA
Lance claimed bragging rights since Alicia Austin and he won 3 awards at Arisia. A graduate of the Jerry Pournelle School of Diplomacy was present.
Someone was looking for cheap rent and/or free kittens.
Alexis noted we had multiple motions to adjourn on the floor. The club unanimously adjourned at 9:40.
The WSFA Journal is the official newsletter of the Washington Science
Fiction Association (WSFA), Inc., no matter what Steve calls it this
month. All material is © 1994 WSFA, Inc., except as noted.
Publisher ............ WSFA, Inc.
The regular third Friday in February business meeting convened on 18 February 1994 in Stately Ginter Manor. President Steve Smith presided in the absence of Vice President Terilee Edwards-Hewitt. "Looks like everyone wants to have a meeting," he said. "No! No! No!" arose from the floor, but we had one anyway.
Steve opened "the Second Friday meeting...." More cries of "No! No! No!" arose. "The Presidential Watch says 'Two' and it can't be February yet," advised Steve.
Robyn moved to adjourn. Robert ruled it out of order.
Secretary Lee Strong asked what happened to Terilee? "She couldn't be here tonight," replied Steve airily. Oh. The minutes and the Vice President were waived. <Now, if we could just waive the Secretary.>
There was no Treasurer here tonight. What about a postcard from Argentina? What's in the Treasury? A pound of coffee and an undisclosed amount of cash.
Disclave Past is past.
Disclave Present is... "Absent", finished Alexis Gilliland, Chairfan of Disclave Quite A Few Years Ago. Disclave 1994 Chairfan John Peacock stated that Disclave mailed flyers. If you got yours, you're lucky. Thank you if you helped bend, fold, spindle, etc the flyers."
The Disclave 1994 Programming Committee reported that Disclave 1994 will feature a special showing of the John Ellis film Twilight of the Dogs, which includes a number of WSFAns in various roles. Please see related article "An All WSFA Production." The Committee is also working on one or more panel discussions of John's work, low budget filmmaking, and small film acting.
Disclave Furniture reported that the Chair is in Boston. Evan Rents in San Francisco.
Alexis, Chairfan of the Entertainment Committee, has worn out all possible Bobbitt and Tonya Harding jokes. Oliver North is a 2 to 1 favorite to win the Republican nomination. Register as a Republican so you can vote against him twice. The club cheered North's candidacy. Some cheered because they like Oliver North. Others cheered because they like Oliver North jokes.
"Committees That I'm Forgetting About" is now an official title.
Lee Gilliland remembered the New Tradition. There was no point to calling out because only old timers were here tonight.
Aren't you getting tired of this?
Erica Van Dommelen announced that there is a cardboard box in the coat room: this is the Lost & Found. Please check it for missing items, which include a lipstick, an umbrella, and a child's sock. "Probably mine," mused Candy Gresham.
Some side comments started Erica squeaking but she only reached a count of 6. Steve recalled counts of 20-30 or even more.
John Peacock announced cheap computer back-up tapes.
Barry Newton announced an electronic petition to stop clipper chip technology. In a related announcement, Robyn Rissell said that the People's Encryption Standard is available.
Alexis moved we adjourn. Steve opined, "I think we've repaired ourselves and are now in order." The club unanimously adjourned at 9:30.
* After the meeting, Dr.
Perianne Perriane Perrianne
Lurie whined about her name being misspelled again. At least we
spelled Chick Divine's name right.
* A potential member noted that this was the second meeting at which he was eligible to join WSFA, but was unable to do so due to a lack of Trustees. Lee Strong cruelly remarked, "And we're going to keep this up until you get discouraged!"
* Also after the meeting, Brian Lewis suggested that Lee Strong get a life. What?! And give up science fiction?!!
Fast Forward, the television program of contemporary science fiction, interviewed local filmmaker John Ellis and writer/actor Tim Sullivan for its March 1994 program. The two WSFAns are collaborating on a low budget science fiction film, Twilight of the Dogs, which includes a number of WSFAns among its actors. John doubles as the producer/director while Tim doubles as the scriptwriter/male lead. Extras include WSFAns Charles Gilliland, Walter Miles, Ray Ridenhour, Lee Strong, and Martin Wooster. For the first time, the Fast Forward included clips from the film under discussion. Footage included an action sequence in which one gang of post-apocalyptic survivors attack their enemies, and a thoughtful moment in which the hero and heroine muse about the nature of their strife-torn world. Interviewer Mike Zipser displayed some of Twilight's futuristic props and book covers from Tim Sullivan's previous novels Destiny's End and Lords of Creation.
The program also included book reviews by WSFAn Joe Mayhew and showed WSFAn Lee Strong as a human prop. WSFAns Mike Zipser and Tom Schaad share producing and interviewing duties.
Fast Forward is filmed in the George Mason University Arlington Campus building.
Fast Forward can be seen on community access cable television at 11 p.m. Wednesdays in Alexandria; at 9:30 p.m. Thursdays and 5:30 p.m. Fridays in Arlington; and at 5:30 p.m. Mondays in Washington.